Published on Thought Catalog

5 Things You Should Stop Saying To Your Single Friends

Asking someone why they’re still single is kind of like asking someone in the Special Olympics why they haven’t made it to the “real Olympics” yet. (Newsflash: it’s rude.) Read

How To Succeed In English Lit Without Really Trying

In my sophomore year at Miami University (of Ohio), I made the decision to become an English Literature major. I didn’t choose it because I’m passionate about the role feminism plays in Restoration Literature or because I wanted to understand why Foucault is a part of the literary canon; rather, I chose it because I knew it’d be an easy row to hoe for a right-brained girl like me, leaving plenty of time for the important things in life (i.e. playing Snood and learning how to beatbox)… Read

Texting Your Way To Date #2

You are in the early stages of a brand new relationship, and you’ve been waiting to hear from the guy for four days now. It’s Wednesday. Hump day. Arguably the worst day of the week, and you’re exhausted. A few hours ago, you came home from work to a depressing, empty apartment, this morning’s oatmeal bowl still soaking in the sink and two unopened bills on the kitchen table (cool life). Suddenly, your phone vibrates. A text! Excitement and nervousness spring forth simultaneously, causing your heart to shoot up into your throat and your stomach to fall into your butt. You grab your phone and realize the text is from him. Took long enough… Read

The Various Ways I’ve Been Friend Zone’d

This may or may not come as a shock to you considering my unabashed affinity for obscure reality television, but I’ve never had a boyfriend. Not for lack of trying, mind you; I’ve got plenty of boy friends — i.e. friends who are boys—who would make excellent companions, which is likely why I have harbored crushes on most of them at one point or another in our friendship. Unfortunately, the feeling was never mutual — by some cruel design, it seems I’m destined to live in an episode of True Life: I’m In The Friend Zone… Read

Overheard on Spirit Airlines

I’m currently sitting in seat 22C on Spirit Air flight 732 from Los Angeles to Chicago. It’s 2:23 in the morning and I’ve been trying to sleep, but instead I find myself writing this article. Why? Because while the rest of the plane is swathed in darkness and observing the generally universal rule of sleeping on a redeye, I’m sitting next to the two most talkative people in the history of airplane buddydom… Read

14 Old Words That Should Still Be Used Today

10. Seraglio
What it means: A large harem
As in: Which seraglio did you join? / Delta Zeta! Soooooo excited! Read

14 More Old Words That Should Still Be Used Today

1. Soothfast
What it means: Truthful, honest.
As in: Be soothfast with me, bro: did you drunk-eat my Pringles last night? Read
This post also featured on The Huffington Post and NPR Tumblr

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